also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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