It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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