I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
