shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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