Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
