I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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