he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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