i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
There was a lot of him and a little penis
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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