Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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