do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
