you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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