Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
