its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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