The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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