is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
