I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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