I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
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