You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I need to align my fucking chakras
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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