I'll bet she douches with gravy.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Randomize
