Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
