i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
