I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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