im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Randomize
