i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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