I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
