Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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