wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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