nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
