i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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