Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
