I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
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