You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
