found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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