i just wanna soil my oats bro
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
