I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I'm like, not good at living.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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