she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
