I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Randomize
