ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
