She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
