he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
He's a Shit stain on my heart
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
