Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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