Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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