hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
