So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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