I think im going to throw up on grandma
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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