I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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