As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
