oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
40s are totally the cure
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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