Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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