first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
