When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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