do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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