K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Shame - the story of my life.
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