You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
