I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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