He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I think weed is turning my hair brown
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I am mentally ready for anal.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
