would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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