I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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