i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
he shaved USA in his pubs
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
