Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
