my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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