he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
